Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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