We should be called the Road Head Warriors
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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