well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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