Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Randomize
