Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
