Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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