We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
