im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize