Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
im six kinds of drunk right now
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
