im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
