porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
