you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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