mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
