I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
