Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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