PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
