my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
