I think I am morally bankrupt
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize