we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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