if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
