its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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