girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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