i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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