is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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