Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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