There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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