I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
