his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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