I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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