I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
