I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
false alarm. still invincible.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
