We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
