is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm at about main and main street
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
