had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize