You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
