He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
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