dude i'm inner monologue high
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
