I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
