One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
