there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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