4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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