i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
