I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
