my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
