Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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