so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
