Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
