put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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