I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
