i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
