babies were throwing up all over the place
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
