I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
