I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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