It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
