hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
