Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
high people should be assigned attendants
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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