names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
