ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
