I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
