You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
