Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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