just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
PANTIES FOUND
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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