I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
