sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
