Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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